September 2, 2012 by mypen2013
I remember it like it happened yesterday. I would often stand in the kitchen with my hands pressed upon the counter in front of me. My wife sat staring blankly ahead while I spoke words that pierced deep into her heart. Often during conflict, I would hear that still small voice say, “you should not speak another word.” In the midst of anger and my overwhelming desire to make a point, I crossed that line of love and brokenness…again. I was to insecure and angry to trust that Godly resolution of conflict would allow me to be heard. Without pain, I was convinced my wife would not hear me nor understand. To trust my wife to understand or to hear me without pain seemed impossible. The very thought left me as Adam in the garden; naked and defenseless (Genesis 3:10).
Yes, things have changed, however if I look at the ground long enough, I can see the small shards of glass that linger from the brokenness I caused during old conflict. Now, I can tell you (men) how God has changed my heart regarding my verbal dealings with my wife; but that wont do much good concerning this topic. The point of this blog post is to address the reality of words that hurt and how those words impact our loved ones.
I often compared my wife’s heart to a castle. My words during conflict were like an army of ten thousand men storming her castle. Arrows flying from everywhere piercing her heart. At the end of the fight, her castle seemingly had been broken to pieces; leaving her to rebuild all over again.
With that, my questions is for those individuals who have been wounded by words from the wounded. If you are still dealing with this issue, how has God kept you home when words have all but pushed you out the door. If you and your spouse have overcome this issue, how has life been after the fact?